Want to remain unemployed? Check out these 15 16 tips for throwing away that prospective job!
(1) While discussing your ‘green’ building experience, mention that your efforts often increase the cost of projects
(2) Show up late, and if questioned about your tardiness, hastily explain that you waited until the last minute to get directions to the interview
(3) Leave an e-mail with directions to a new job interview open on your computer at your current job
(4) When asked what interests you about the company, reply, “I don’t know, I hadn’t heard about you guys until I sent in my resume”
(5) Wear a golf shirt and/or sneakers to the interview
(6) When offered a position, immediately demand more money…it’s called ‘negotiating’
(7) When speaking about your qualifications, be sure to include a degree or award you don’t have. Who actually bothers to check up on those things?
(8) When asked how you are qualified for the position, say, “I’m not sure I am, but I’m a quick learner and can learn to do it”…it’s called ‘modesty’
(9) After an interview, do absolutely nothing and wait for a call. Who actually has time to write a ‘thank you note’ anyways?
(10) Touch up your makeup during the interview to make sure you stay looking sharp
(11) Don’t shave before the interview; everyone likes the scruffy look
(12) Explain that you are qualified for the job because you have siblings/friends/parents who have important positions at bigger companies in the same field
(13) Open the interview by asking about the starting salary and vacation days
(14) Before you leave the interview, be sure to say you want a window office
(15) Name drop the same name at least five times
Reader additions:
(16) Complain about your last employer
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